Sunday, 3 May 2015

A new date to remember

Friday 1st May 2015 approx 11:30am

I was told that I have bone metastasis.

There's no chance of injecting any humour to this. It is incurable. It is Stage 4. No amount of pleading or preying or crying will take it away. It is my new nightmare.

I wish it was 72 hours ago. I was ignorant , I had the possibility of a future -hard to imagine but possible, there was still a chance that it was all gone forever. I was starting to think about a new normal. I'd fell in love with a house to buy. I was starting to smile and laugh most days, the crying was less frequent. 

And now I am suffocating under the weight of the unknown, I am walking around in a daze. Do I make a bucket list? Who do I have to inform? What can or can't I do? When will I have a bone biopsy? 

So many questions but maybe for now I just need to breath.